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Next Joke

Insurance Claims

 

The following are real statements found on insurance claim forms.
Drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident succinctly.

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I
don't have.

I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I put my head
through it.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its
intentions.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times
before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law
and headed over the embankment.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I
reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision, and I
did not see the other car.

The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of
its way when it struck the front end.

I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in
the ditch by some stray cows.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car
with a big mouth.

I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and
had an accident.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal
joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place
where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in
time to avoid the accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the
pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured, but upon removing my hat
found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of
the curb when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

 

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